Title: "Tonya's 3rd Update"
Description: This is the 3rd email I sent out updating people on my tumor.
Date written: May 7, 2002
Hello everyone. This is yet another one of my mass emails. Some of you
are new to my list, so you didn't get my previous emails. However, this
email is important to me because it is about my benefit.
My medical bills just keep piling up. There are more than just doctor
bills (appts. with neuro surgeon, appts. with neurologist, appts. with
SO many general doctors, appt. with top neuro surgeon in NYC, MRIs,
catscan, SO many blood tests, SO many prescriptions, EEG brainwave
test, etc.) to take into consideration. There are plane ticket bills,
the price of gas from multiple trips between Bedford, Iowa and Kansas
City, Missouri (which is where my specialists are located), phone calls
to doctors, and the fact that the more spent on all these things the
less that my family can help me live here in New York City. New York
University is a very expensive school. Don't get me wrong, most of my
schooling is being paid by scholarships and loans, however, there are
deposits and other up-front costs that my mom has to take care of.
Plus the living expenses here are so much more (I'm referring to
groceries). It's ridiculous. I wanted to write about the other costs
that aren't directly doctor bills, because they shouldn't go
overlooked, and plus I don't want to seem selfish or greedy by going
through with the benefit. We honestly need the help. With that said, I
will begin to talk about my Benefit Auction/Supper.
Some friends were noticing (bless their hearts) that we were starting
to run into financial difficulty (and I haven't even had the surgery
yet). So, these friends asked if it would be all right to put together
a benefit supper/auction. When I was asked, I immediately said no way.
I'm not going to explain in detail why I said no, but a part of it was
the attention. I didn't want pity or the 'fame' from having a brain
tumor. I guess it's hard to explain. However, I changed my mind,
because I thought I was being selfish. We need the help, so I had to
swallow my pride in a way. I do want to emphasize though that I didn't
ask for this benefit. It is a gift from everyone involved. I am so
worried that I will come off as being selfish, which I know sounds
ridiculous, but I really do not want people thinking that.
So that brings us to the point of this email. I would really appreciate
it if you would come. I haven't seen a lot of you for a while now, and
it would mean so much to me if you came. I know some of you can't make
it, like my college friends, but I really hope to see everyone else
there. It's EXTREMELY important to me.
I've attached a flyer that explains the details of the auction (place,
date, time, etc.). Please take a look at it. It is a MS Word document,
so some of you may not be able to open it. If you have any questions
about it, just let me know. Again, I really hope the majority of you
can come. (sorry that these emails get so long). Take care, and I
hope to see you soon!
Love,
Tonya (with an 'o', not an 'a')
(ahhh, getting nervous, only 16 days until brain surgery)
Here are some replies I received:
From Steve Sawyer, my dear dentist who also had a brain tumor:
Sound familiar. When my friend came up to me and said they were having
a benefit, I, too, said no way. He very politely told me it was not my
decision. People feel so helpless in a situation like this and it give
them an outlook that is helpful to you at the same time. So don't feel
guilty. 16 days until surgery? Most of them will probably fly by doing finals
and moving back home. What is the exact date again? We shall certainly
keep you in thoughts and prayers.
From Jodi Allen, one of my closest MO friends:
You have to quit thinking that everyone will think bad things about you!
You need this money more than anything and I think it's great that people
are putting a benefit up for you! It's just too bad that your friends in
Maryville didn't think of it first:). Well-I hope I see you soon. If not
you are in my prayers and thoughts. Take care of yourself girl. Love ya,
Jodi
From Jessica Kelley (now Jessica Frederick), a good friend from high school:
Sorry I will be unable to come. I'm in Germany for school until 17 May.
I bought stuff to send for your auction but they made me go to school the
last minute so I was unable to send it. I'll send it 20 May 02 so in the
event that you have another benefit auction. I remember I bought 2 ceramic vases that are maroon from the ceramic capital
of the world Nove (Novay) and the other stuff I bought I don't remember. Again I am sorry that I won't be able to be there and that I will be
sending the stuff late. If I am not in school I should be back home with
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb at the end of August. Best wishes, Jessi
From Alicia Merritt, my Iowa pen pal since 6th grade:
Hi there! Thanks for the update! Wow- I sure will be praying for you with
your upcoming surgery. I can only imagine how nervous you must be. Oh I just wish I could come to your benefit- it would be wonderful to see
you again. Unfortunatly, we will be having company then, and it would be too
far to drive. I really hope that a lot of people come and are able to help.
Finances are super tight for me right now, but I would be happy to donate
some jewelry for the auction! Just give me the address to send to, and I
will get some items made and sent. (((HUGS))) Alicia
